I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
