I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize