Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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