You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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