remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize