Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
