i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
