I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
