I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
