i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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