I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
