i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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