that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
