Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
