We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize