I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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