see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize