i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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