Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
