Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She is in my trunk
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
