I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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