I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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