On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize