Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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