I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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