i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
