hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
