You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize