Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
