she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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