I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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