I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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