when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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