6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
