You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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