Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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