my phone needs a breathalizer
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
