i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
