You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
