He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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