We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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