Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
