That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
