Have you finally orgasmed yet?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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