is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
