i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
