His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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