their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
