I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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