"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
