Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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