Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize