Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
