Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i came on her dog
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
