I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
