I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize