Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
