Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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