I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
