The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My dick has a subreddit
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
