did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
