She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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