That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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